My name is Marissa


This will be my outlet for the next 365 days. I guess you could say i am running a social experiment.



I am getting nervous. I have a very detailed operation planned to get my kids back Sunday. I keep checking and checking again to make sure I am ready for them to come home. I feel like I have not seen them in a year! I am so worried that I am not going to … Continue reading Nervous


You know, I wish I could stop caring so much about man and what man expects of me. I want to care more about what God thinks of me. I guess it is part of my sinful nature. It is so frustrating. I have so many thoughts going through my mind. I have been drinking tonight, (first time in several months) and I feel guilty about it.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 I have heard this so many times growing up, that I have it memorized and can recite it in my sleep. I have never … Continue reading

I am vs. I want to be

I am: Fearful, a failure, worried, a smoker, unhealthy, sinful, bisexual, selfish, depressed, anxious, hardheaded, mean, judgmental, unsure, tired, sick, I want to be: pure, confident, a servant, healthy, loving, understanding, successful, trustworthy, independent, strong, joyful, hardworking, energetic, a non smoker, a good mother, safe, secure, selfless, determined, consistent, and alive.   How do I … Continue reading I am vs. I want to be