My name is Marissa

This will be my outlet for the next 365 days. I guess you could say i am running a social experiment.

Protection mode enabled

Do you ever get comfortable with a group of people and then panic thinking you better not get emotionally attached because they 1. Have ultirior motives and are not really your friend 2. Are a wolf in lambs clothing 3. They simply don’t care about you as much as they pretend to 4. Are only…

Heavy on my mind

Thought I’d drop in and share what’s been heavy on my mind. As usual, they are mostly just the questions that spark the fire of anxiety. Why is it so hard to thrive? Why do I have such a hard time doing the things I want to do? What drives my motivation for making shitty…

Do not live the world

My life has been crazy busy latley . I am trying so flipping hard to get this business going. I HAVE to take care of my family. I am a single mom with four children. I do have my boyfriend of course but we don’t live together. I just see him for a few hours…

Blessings

The last week has been insanly busy and wonderful! The jobs are coming in nicely, I am full of joy as I have been attending church, and wed Bible study. I find myself so joyful that tears well up in my eyes and I sing praises to God as I’m driving to the store for…

I want more

This is going to be soooo fuckin hard. All I want to do is have sex with my man. I hate to say it but I think I’m kind of addicted to sex in general. Of course, I’m really catching feelings hard for my boyfriend. But sex in general is an issue for me. I…

Keep moving

My boyfriend decided he wanted to try to continue the relationship. Boy is he fucked up over it though. This weekend has been very weird. He won’t hug me, he will barely touch me. He thinks he is being rejected. I can see that he wants very much to continue the relationship, but it hurts…

I did it

Well I had the conversation. At first you could see the laughter in his eyes. Once he realized I was serious, he became angry. I could see the thoughts racing through his mind. He was trying to make sense of why I wanted to wait. My explanation of why didn’t make sense to him so…